1: Bond, James Bond. Smug sexist elitist snobbish bullying racist git. Do I need to say more?
2: Hagrid. Nobody is that thick without malice aforethought. Wouldn't surprise me if he was Voldemort's deep cover agent.
3: Treecats (and little dragons and other cute sentient pets, and the people who let them ride on their shoulders) Turn on the humans, bozos, and use those amazing telepathic powers (or whatever) to rid the universe of endless twee writing.
4: Angel. Given a right way, a wrong way, and a way that'll cause maximum problems for everyone around him, three guesses which one he won't pick.
5: Anita Blake, the ultimate Mary Sue. Do I need to justify this?
Now returning you to memeless service...