Somehow I doubt that Charteris would have given the ponderous writing his approval. As for the dialogue... Well, let's just say that the author isn't Charteris and leave it at that.
Less than impressed.
But at least my central heating has been fixed (at least for now, it'll need more work when they can obtain a part that's needed) and will work provided I don't let the pressure drop too low. The bit that was done today took approximately ten minutes, most of it time opening and shutting the casing, disconnecting one wire, and waiting to make sure it's coming on properly. Snag is that if I run it on a normal day-night cycle it'll need to be manually repressured twice a day, so I'm going to have to leave it on continuously and turn the temperature down at night and when I'm out. Not a big deal in the holidays, I'm in most of the time.